November62009
WARNING TRACKLIST
I’ve always loved thinking of an album tracklist as a baseball lineup. You know, the song that sets the mood for the album is your first track, aka leadoff hitter. Your power hits come from the 3, 4, 5 tracks, etc. and so on.
WORD OF ADVICE: Try to avoid listening to Track 9s if you live in, or are visiting, a National League city. They will inevitably suck. Instead, skip ahead to any Bonus Tracks included on the LP.
5AM
LYRIKAL BRAKEDOWN
“Shake Ya Ass … But Watch Yourself” - Mystikal
It’s like he’s saying “Sure, go have fun. Just be sure to look both ways before crossing the street … and head on over to the park where all the whores are.”
…
ATTENTION ALL LOUISIANA-BASED HAIRSTYLISTS:
It’s time to get out your appointment books, because …
Mystikal is expected to be released from prison in January 2010, which, although it sounds like the distant future, is only two months from now! Expect a battle on the charts, where he and, fellow speed-rapper, Twista will vie for America’s rapidly increasing indifference.
12AM
TIME WAITES FOR NO ONE ...
But I’m just not ready for songs like THIS to be on the “oldies” station.
October142009
HEY GRAMMAR POLICE ... LET ME SEE YOU'RE BADGE
All these posts of people complaining about these small grammatical errors (your/you’re, there/their/they’re, its/it’s, etc) are beginning to bother me. Not because I don’t care about grammar, believe me I do, but because I think they are subconsciously causing me to make these very same errors at a much more frequent rate.
I mean, I clearly know all the rules. They’re easy and simple, and I graduated from high school, college and Bee-Safe Driving School … so I know a thing or two. But the frequency in which these rules are making appearances in my world is just to high. So just stop it … OK, internet?
Please just let stupid people be stupid. I mean, you’re free to judge them based solely on their grammatical usage, but it’s not your job to correct them. The rules are out there, and should anyone want to better themselves, enlightenment is but a mouse click away.
Also … I wish Rick Astley had more hit songs because I kinda miss that whole Rickroll thing.